


vhs and (no) chill

by gothyringwald



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Coming Out, Confessions, Confusion, Developing Relationship, First Dates, Friendship, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Season/Series 03, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-10 06:59:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19496044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothyringwald/pseuds/gothyringwald
Summary: Billy’s rented the same movie three times this week. Steve doesn’t know why he keeps coming back but Robin does.Billy haunts the aisles of the store, sometimes spending an hour or more trailing his fingers along the covers of every video until he picks one out, coming back day after day.(There are implied spoilers for season three in this—explicit spoilers in the top author notes—so don’t read if you’ve not yet watched it! Unless you don’t care about spoilers)





	vhs and (no) chill

**Author's Note:**

> Spent the better part of my Friday writing this after staying up all night Thursday watching S3, neither of which I’ve done in ages!
> 
> You can insert your own Billy lives AU for this but mine is: Joyce turned the keys a few minutes earlier and the mind flayer died before Billy sacrificed himself. Because El broke through to Billy the gate being closed freed him completely.

'How was the date last night, Casanova?'

'A disaster,' Steve sighs. Robin pouts at him from her perch on the bar stool she found in the dumpster and dragged into the store so she wouldn't have to stand through every shift. Steve crosses his arms over his middle. 'Maybe I'll just be celibate for the rest of my life.'

'That would be a shame,' comes a drawling voice from behind him. 'Depriving the women of Hawkins like that.'

Heat crawls up Steve's neck as he wheels around. Billy Hargrove is leaning on the counter, smirking. There's a hunted look in his eyes, though, belying the easiness of his smirk. That look's always there, these days.

'Uh, hey,' Steve says, ignoring Billy's remark. 'You wanna rent that?' He gestures to the video Billy is drumming his fingers on. Behind him, Robin snorts.

Billy only nods. His hair falls into his face and he pushes it back with a careless hand. For a while after… _after_ , he'd taken to wearing his hair pulled back, barely seeming to wash it or brush it. He still doesn't style it like he used to but Steve thinks it looks good, all soft mussed curls. It suits Billy. Steve wonders if he should feel guilty for thinking that.

'Your card,' Steve says. He clears his throat. 'Please.'

He tries to ignore the swoop of his stomach when Billy's fingers brush his as he takes his membership card but ever since Robin told him about Tammy it's been harder to push aside moments like these. Like her confession knocked something loose within Steve, something he'd felt for a while but never put a name to. He sucks in a breath and turns Billy's card over but he doesn't need to. He has his number memorised.

Billy haunts the aisles of the store, sometimes spending an hour or more trailing his fingers along the covers of every video until he picks one out, coming back day after day. Maybe the movies help banish whatever memories are swimming around his head. Steve has overheard Max whispering about Billy screaming in the night, her relief at his survival marred with worry. Steve sometimes wakes from the feeling of falling and falling and falling or with the taste of blood in the back of his throat but it's nothing like what Billy must deal with. 

Sometimes Max is with Billy but mostly he's alone, skin flush with life but still pale in the sickly glow of the store's buzzing fluorescent lights. During the day the lights are barely noticeable with the store's windows letting in floods of daylight but at night they chase away the shadows that wait outside.

'That must be really good,' Robin says, peering over Steve's shoulder at the video on the counter. Her voice startles Steve out of his thoughts and he pushes Billy's card back toward him.

'What?' Billy says, tucking his card into his wallet, and his wallet into his jeans.

'You rented it before,' Robin says. 'On Monday when Steve and I had a shift.' There's something in her voice that Steve can't grasp. 'So it must be good.'

'Yes. It is.' Billy's voice is tight and his eyes narrow but there's a faint pink tinge to his cheeks. Like he's embarrassed but Steve doesn't know why he should be.

When Steve and Billy remain silent, Robin says, 'Well, it's due back tomorrow,' smiling in a way that Steve doesn't understand. 'Around the same time.'

'Right.' Billy looks at Steve and Steve gets the sense that there's something he's missing. It's not a new feeling but he still fucking hates it.

'I guess I'll see you tomorrow,' Steve says to Billy, for lack of anything else to say. 'When you bring the video back.'

'Yeah,' Billy says slowly. He chews his thumbnail, peering at Steve through half-lidded eyes. He sighs and shakes his head. 'See you tomorrow, Harrington.' He grabs the video and stalks out of the store.

'That was weird,' Steve half-mutters. He turns to Robin but she's still looking up at him with that strange smile and an equally strange twinkle in her eyes. 'What?'

'Nothing,' Robin says but her tone is too light, almost sing-song, for whatever it is to really be nothing.

Frustration wells in Steve's chest but before he can press further another customer comes to the counter and Robin goes over to serve them. 

Steve watches her and wonders, not for the first time, if she knows about the way he feels sometimes. About that swoop in his stomach when Billy's hand brushes his or the heat that rushes him when he thinks about the picture of Rob Lowe stowed in his sock drawer. He's thought about telling her—not about the picture, that would be weird—because if anyone could understand, she could. But Steve doesn't want to voice it. Doesn't know how to. Not yet.

Later, when they're closing up, Steve says, 'Wanna come over and watch a movie?'

'Sure,' Robin says with a shrug. 'Not like I've got anything better to do.'

'Wow. Thanks,' Steve says, flipping off the lights. 'I feel so touched that you enjoy my company that much.'

'You're welcome,' Robin says. She smiles again but it's a smile Steve recognises, now, and the tension he's been holding since Billy Hargrove came into the store finally eases a little.

—

The television soaks Steve's living room in cathode ray glow, the scent of nearly burnt popcorn thick in the air. Robin is absorbed in whatever movie she chose—Steve's already forgotten what it is—but Steve can't settle. He sips his cola, knowing it won't help. It's like he's on the brink of something but he's not sure what.

Halfway through the movie he finds out. 'So, the gay thing,' he blurts, 'what's it like?' So much for not being ready to voice it. Real fucking smooth. 

Robin coughs around a mouthful of popcorn, sending half-chewed kernels flying in every direction. She flails for her can of cola, gulping it and thumping her chest. 'What the fuck? What do you _mean_ what's it like?'

Steve shrugs one shoulder. 'I mean, how'd you know?'

'Wanting to kiss other girls was a pretty big clue.' Robin's cheeks are flushed but Steve can't tell if it's from nearly choking or from the conversation.

'Right, yeah,' Steve says. He glances at his hands folded in his lap. 'I mean, how can you be sure?'

Robin turns on him. 'I'm not confused.' There's hurt in her eyes, her tone accusing.

'I didn't mean—'

'It's not a— a _phase_.'

Steve sits up, holds out his hands. 'No, I—' Maybe he's not college smart but he can tell that there's more to Robin's hurt than what he'd said alone.

'I thought you got it.' Robin pushes herself up, poised to stand, like she's thinking about leaving.

'I do.' Steve reaches out to grab her wrist. 'But I'm confused.'

Robin pauses, looking at him, considering. Her eyes narrow. 'You're confused about me being gay?'

'No. _I'm_ confused.'

The television chatters but Robin remains silent. 

Steve's heart thuds hard and the top of his head feels hot and prickly. 'Robin?'

Slowly, Robin picks up the remote, pausing the movie and turns to Steve. 'What are you saying?'

'I don't know. I don't know.' Steve runs a hand through his hair. He's kept this locked inside, hasn't given it words, but now that he's started, he can't stop. 'I like girls. I really like girls. But sometimes…' He draws in a breath. 'Sometimes I think…' About Billy. He shakes his head, looks at the TV. It doesn't give him any answers, so he stumbles on. 'Sometimes I think…Rob Lowe is hot.'

'Rob Lowe, huh? That makes sense.' Robin sounds amused but then her brow furrows and she taps her lip. 'OK, so you know at Scoops how some people would just want one flavour?'

'What? Why are we talking about _ice cream_?'

'Just work with me here.'

'…OK.'

'OK, so, some people just want one flavour. Maybe it's U.S.S. Butterscotch, or it's peppermint or whatever.'

'Right.'

'And then some people would come in and they'd want butterscotch and chocolate.'

'Sure.'

'Well, maybe you're a two flavours kind of guy.'

Steve blinks. What the fuck… Slowly, the meaning of Robin's words dawns on him. 'Oh my god, are you using ice cream as a'—what's the word?—'metaphor?'

'Yes!' Robin smiles brightly. 'So, like, the flavours are boy or girl or—'

'Jesus Christ.' Steve rubs a hand over his face. 'I get the metaphor,' he snaps. At the colour in Robin's cheeks he softens and says, 'But thanks.'

'It's OK. I get it,' Robin says. 'Well, I don't _get it_ get it. I'm a one flavour kind of girl, even if I haven't had many, er, samples.'

'Gross.'

Robin glares. 'I'm just saying I get it. So we can talk about it.' She scrunches her nose up. 'Or not.'

'Yeah,' Steve says. 'Thanks. I just…I'm not entirely sure if I am, you know?'

'You don't have to be sure.'

Steve hadn't expected Robin to say that so he had no idea it was what he needed to hear. But those words— _You don't have to be sure_ —lift a weight from him and he lets out a long shuddering breath. 'OK.'

'And, hey, it'd widen your dating pool. Not like you're having much luck with the ladies.'

'Thanks for reminding me.' Steve sighs. 'Anyway, I don't think it's going to widen my dating pool in _Hawkins_.'

'Yeah,' Robin says, tone thoughtful, 'maybe not.'

Steve slumps back and Robin presses play. He'd thought that he'd feel different having told her but there's still a churning in his gut, like he's back in that elevator, wondering when he'll hit the ground.

—

It's a slow day and Robin is playing one of her black and white movies on the store TV, one of those movies where everyone talks a lot and nothing seems to happen. They grate on Steve's nerves. Just like today. Steve makes a face at the TV then pushes away from the counter, deciding to give the store a once over to make sure the shelves he straightened ten minutes ago are still in order. As he rounds the counter, he walks right into Billy.

'Shit,' Steve says, heart skittering. 'I didn't see you.'

'No kidding,' Billy says. His eyes are wide and his fingers are white around the video he's holding.

Steve remembers when walking into Billy like this would have earned him a firm shove, at the least, and Steve has heard that Billy still sometimes gets into fights but Steve doesn't see much of that violence, that anger, that Billy used to carry anymore. 'You need a hand?'

'Yeah, I wanna rent this.' Billy's shoulders loosen and he waggles the video he's holding.

'Right,' Steve says but he doesn't move. He's standing close to Billy and he can smell his cologne and the heavy scent of tobacco that always follows him. Is he too close? Is he staring? 'Right,' he repeats and moves back around the counter.

Robin looks up from the magazine she's been idly flipping through and moves over to stand beside Steve. 'Hi,' she says to Billy.

Billy frowns at her. 'Hi.'

She pushes herself onto her toes and looks at the video. 'Wow, you can't get enough of that movie, huh?'

'Is there some kind of rule about how many times I can rent it?' 

'Nope,' Robin says. 'Just making an observation.' She looks up at Steve, then back to Billy. 'Well, looks like Steve's got everything under control. I'll leave you in his capable hands.' Robin thumps Steve on the shoulder and saunters off.

Steve watches her, his mouth hanging open. What the fuck? He looks back at Billy. An awkward silence descends over them, squirming under Steve's skin. He shoves the video across the counter. 'It's due back tomorrow.'

Billy blinks. For a moment it seems like he wants to say something else and Steve holds his breath but Billy only rolls his eyes and says, 'Yeah, tomorrow.'

Steve lets out a long breath. There's an empty feeling somewhere in his chest as Billy disappears out of sight.

'He's rented that movie three times this week,' Robin says, leaning over the counter.

'Maybe it's like a comfort thing,' Steve says. He hadn't even noticed what movie it was, only the shape of Billy's hands grasping the cover, the stormy blue of his eyes as he looked across the counter at Steve. 'You know, after…everything.'

'Or,' Robin says, drawing out the 'o' as she moves back around the counter, 'maybe he's using it as an excuse to come into the store, dingus.'

Steve frowns. Why would Billy need an excuse… His stomach drops. 'Oh shit.' He looks at Robin. 'Do you want me to warn him off? I'll be subtle.' Steve ignores Robin's dubious look and how his stomach is still sinking, lowering his voice as he adds, 'I won't mention the gay thing.'

'Wow, OK, you…wow. First, stop saying 'the gay thing' like that. Secondly, he doesn't even look at me.'

'OK, then, I don't get it.'

Robin sighs. 'Does all that hair leech your brains or something?'

'What?' Steve raises a hand, self-consciously touching his hair.

'I should leave you in the dark, but it's painful to watch, so I'm going to put us both out of our misery: he likes you.'

'But we're not even friends.'

'No. No. He _likes_ you.'

Steve's pulse jumps. 'That's crazy. He's Billy Hargrove. He's a— a ladies' man.' He hasn't been dating lately, sure, but Steve can hardly blame him.

'Maybe he's a two flavours kind of guy, too,' Robin says, matter-of-factly.

'OK, no…no way. Not Billy.'

'Yes Billy.'

'You can't know that. I mean, just because he rents the same movie three times…it doesn't mean anything.'

Robin rolls her eyes. 'It's not just the movie. I didn't say anything before because I didn't think there was any point until you told me…you know.' Her mouth tilts in a small, conspiratorial smile. 'But he. Likes. You. You should go for it.'

'OK, say he does like me. Why do you think I'd be interested in him?' Steve says, trying a different tack.

'You think Rob Lowe is hot.'

'So?'

'Oh, c'mon.' Robin looks as exasperated as she sounds. 'He's like the dime store version of Rob Lowe, Steve.'

Steve flushes. It's not like he hasn't noticed the resemblance. Not like that wasn't one of the first things he thought when he saw Billy. It had blindsided him, like his secret fantasy had stepped right off the page of a magazine and into his life.

'Next time he comes in,' Robin continues, 'suggest a movie, and see if he wants to watch it with you.'

'That easy, huh? Ask another guy out'—Steve stumbles over the words—'right here in the store where anyone could hear. I mean you never…' Guilt stops Steve from finishing the sentence.

Robin flushes and drops her gaze. 'Yeah, well, one of us has to be brave.'

'You're plenty brave.' Steve slings an arm around her shoulder and squeezes.

'Thanks.' Robin ducks out of his hold and pokes him in the side. 'Ask him out or I'll swap all my shifts so you have to work with Keith every day.'

'You wouldn't.'

'Are you prepared to take that risk?'

'Remind me why we're friends?'

'Because I make you laugh.' Robin smiles sweetly. 'And no one else over the age of 12 will put up with you.'

Steve snorts. 'Thanks.' He sighs. 'Fine, I'll do it, but I'm gonna be seriously pissed if you're wrong about this.'

'Trust me. I'm not.'

—

'Billy,' Steve says, when Billy pushes open the door and steps inside the next day, VHS clutched in his hand.

Billy looks over at him and Steve's heart gives a little jump. It always does, when he sees Billy, but it's different today, loaded with the possibility that Billy likes him.

On the other side of the store Robin is pretending to reorganise shelves, giving Steve a silent thumbs up when he glances over at her.

'Hey.' Billy steps up to the counter, setting the video down. He rests his hands on the counter, chewing the corner of his lip. 'Look, I wanted to—'

'You know, I heard this is good,' Steve says, cutting Billy off, groping blindly for the video Robin had set aside to suggest to Billy. If he looks away from Billy's face he thinks he might chicken out. He slams the video onto the counter and winces at the way Billy jumps. He pushes the movie forward. 'You should watch it.'

' _The Care Bears Movie_?'

'What?' Steve looks down and realises, to his horror, he'd grabbed the wrong video.

A burst of laughter erupts from behind the Drama shelf. Steve's fingers tighten on the counter. It's OK. He can fix this.

'Not that one,' Steve says, throat hot and hands tingling. He casts around for the right video, sighing as he finds it. 'I meant this one.' It better not be one of Robin's weird movies. He frowns at the cover. OK, he knows James Dean. James Dean is cool, right? Whatever. He trusts Robin. Mostly. 

Billy raises a brow at the cover, then looks back up at Steve. 'I should watch this movie.'

'Yeah, I mean, we both should. At the same time.' Steve clears his throat. 'Together?'

Billy leans on the counter. Up close Steve can see the dark circles under his eyes aren't just a trick of the light. But the blue of his irises seems clearer than usual as he lowers his voice and says, 'You know, it kinda sounds like you're asking me on a date, Harrington.'

'Um—' Panic claws up Steve's throat when Billy says 'date'. Why is he doing this? Because he doesn't want to share all his shifts with Keith. No. No. Because he wants it. Wants this. 'I might be.'

'You might be?'

'It depends.'

'On what?'

'I—'

'Fuck it, this is stupid,' Billy cuts in. 'I want it to be a date, so if you're asking, I'm saying yes.'

The candour of Billy's words hits Steve like a punch to the gut. Steve may have asked Billy out but somehow he feels like it's Billy being the brave one, here, not him. 'Good. Great. That's great,' he says, throat clicking as he swallows. 'Then it's a date. Tonight?'

Billy nods. 'I'll swing by your place around 9.'

'Cool,' Steve says. 

'Cool,' Billy repeats. The corner of his lip quirks and then he turns, heading back out of the store, without another word. There's a lightness in his step that Steve hasn't seen in a while. He usually walks like there's a heavy weight on his shoulders, dragging him down, but not now.

Robin comes over and high fives him. 'All right, Harrington,' she says as their palms connect. 

Steve's arm feels like jelly.

—

At 9 o'clock Steve's doorbell rings. He's been wondering, since Billy left the store, if he'd made a mistake, wondering what he's meant to do on a date with another guy. Wondering if he'll fuck this up. He opens the door and figures he'll find out soon enough.

Billy is waiting on the doorstep, pale in the small pool of light cast from the bulb above the door. It's dark behind him and Steve wonders, again, if Billy can stand being out in the dark. Steve doesn't know if he'd be able to bear it in his place.

'Hey,' Steve says.

'Hey.'

Billy seems jittery and Steve can't tell if it's the night or their date but he ushers Billy inside, away from the dark, and into the warmth of his living room. They stand looking at each other across the divide of the coffee table. The distance feels like a yawning chasm. 

Steve runs a hand over his face. Has he always been this dramatic? 'You, uh, wanna watch the movie?' he says.

'Yeah.'

The tape is already in the player, so Steve turns the TV on and presses play, hovering for a moment, unable to bring himself to move just yet.

Billy is sitting on the sofa, legs splayed, fingers drumming on his knee. It's the first time he's ever looked like just another teenager, to Steve. Like someone on the same level as him. Nervous and uncertain. A little hopeful. On the cusp of something. It settles the fluttering thing behind Steve's ribs and he exhales, settling beside Billy.

'I'm glad you came, Billy,' Steve says. He doesn't resist the dip of the sofa as it pushes him into Billy's side.

'Yeah,' Billy says, knee pressing into Steve's, his gaze wide and open, 'so am I.'

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! :) I was gonna say ‘maybe I’ll pick this up again someday’ but I feel like every time I say that I never end up doing it :/ still I like the idea of some movie date nights so we’ll see ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> Please feel free to point out any glaring typos!
> 
> I know I left the movies fairly vague but:
> 
> The movie they’re watching at Steve’s is Some Like it Hot (because I think Robin mentions The Apartment as one of her top 3 so I figured she might like some of Billy Wilder’s other films…I’ve already forgotten everything else she said haha)
> 
> The movie Robin puts on in the store is Sunset Boulevard (for same reason as above)
> 
> The movie Robin chooses for Steve and Billy to watch is Rebel Without a Cause because it’s Rebel Without a Cause. And it’s gay.
> 
> And I chose The Care Bears Movie as the one Steve accidentally picks up because I was obsessed with that movie as a kid.
> 
> For some reason I didn’t decide on which movie Billy kept hiring but it’s a new release (I assume they had the one day policy for new releases then?)...it doesn’t matter really haha


End file.
